


Signum Amoris

by Nightalp



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, POV Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, except for how it isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 08:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10738296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightalp/pseuds/Nightalp
Summary: Tony never had love marks.Cupid's arrows. Freya's kisses.Whatever.





	Signum Amoris

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the really weird writing style. I have literally no idea where it came from but it works quite well with the story, I think?
> 
> Anyway, this is my obligatory Soul Mate AU, because writing one seems to be required when you've been in fandom for a while.
> 
>  
> 
> .

Tony never had love marks.

Cupid's arrows. Freya's kisses.

Whatever.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


It's the kind of thing no-one would ever believe about him - he's Tony fucking Stark, most eligible Bachelor of the year five times in a row, the man who started dating before he even turned sixteen, the man men and women alike fawn over. So he always makes shit up when people ask.

His first mark? That was the girl in high school, with her long black locks and a skin like polished amber, the one he ate pizza with late at night and talked about robotics as if there was no tomorrow. (He did, she's real, but he never loved her. He was thirteen then and more interested in her mind than in her self. They were something like friends until he went to MIT and she didn't return his calls anymore).

His strangest mark? That had to be the man waiting on people at his favorite restaurant. The one that he had tumbled with into a fiery and fast love affair after they met when Tony had been stood up by a date one evening. The mark had been on his ass and looked almost like a tiny dog with two heads. (The mark had been there, on Gas. Gas, who had played on being too scared of being penetrated so that Tony had always taken it, and had turned out to be absolutely head over heels for his childhood friend and fellow reporter. Tony still didn't know what Obie had had to do to silence him, but it's one of the things he's actually grateful for).

(Sometimes he thinks Obie might have had him killed. He's not sure he cares).

Is he willing to talk about the mark he's still feeling the most connection to? Of course he is. It's not bad to still love people, even if they have walked on, is it? Not when they are still friends, and care about you, is it? He's not going to say who it is, but she's been a friend for years now, and the one he can call even dead in the night to cry to about everything without her yelling at him.

Well, there is yelling. But at least he will know that, after she has ripped off his head, she will have his back every time. (It's Pepper, of course. The one person he has learned to love through years of working together and trusting her. The one that was willing to start a relationship with him and tried to love him.)

(They broke it off after two years. He knows he loves her. He knows she cares for him. He doesn't know what to make of knowing that she cares for him without loving him the way a lover does.)

  


\--♥-♥--

  


There are still some trash novels out there that call love marks - S _ignum_ _A_ _moris_ , if he's being scientific - soul marks. As in, signs of soul mates.

It's complete bullshit, of course - there's no such thing. Even if Tony believed in souls (he doesn't. Can't quite see how a soul such as his could still exist) he wouldn't believe in soul _mates_.

What sense would there be in a soul put into two beings? What sense would there be in making two beings run around the world, trying to find their other half? (Unless you can only procreate with your soul mate. Instant solution of overpopulation. That would be the shit).

Anyway, even if you _had_ a _soul_ _mate_ \- what reason is there to expect two people who never met to be compatible, to be _happy_ with each other? Nurture is more important for a person's character than nature (that's actually scientifically proven), and there's no reason to believe that a mystical concept like a soul would make a difference.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


But love? Love Tony can believe in.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


Most people get their first marks as teenagers. They are really short-lived - some change marks every few months or so, though there are some whose marks who last years. People change too fast at that age, their _love_ changes too fast, and they flit between relationships in a terrible swift manner.

Most marks - loves, relationships - that _last_ are born somewhere mid-twenty when the young people learn who they really are, and what they really expect of a significant other. Some of these marks stay there throughout the years, sometimes fading, then getting stronger again, until one of them dies.

It's still not fool-proof. People never stop changing, and not always do they change together. People fall out of love, fall in love again.

Not always do they divorce. Helge in accounting doesn't have a mark, and his wife has a small spot on her wrist, but they have a daughter who is three and they stay together. There are Cynthia and Sarah who sometimes eat lunch with him and Pepper, and they both have a mark - an almost-rabbit in Cynthia's palm, a completely round mark at Sarah's neck. Tony never asked who those people are that love those women and who are loved by them. Never asked why they aren't together, are married to each other actually.

People don't need to be in love to be happy with each other. And sometimes marks are growing out of contentment, and sometimes the darkest mark fades the quickest, and still people live on.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


Tony never expected to fall in love again, not after Pepper. Certainly never expected to fall for _Loki_ of all people.

They met in blood and battle (and Tony remembers a romance novel about marks appearing as soon as you touched your love mate and he always cracks up rather loudly when he does - wouldn't it have been _hilarious_ , feeling his mark burning into his shoulder while he is being strangled by his mate?).

They re-met when Thor dragged his brother (the brother who was supposed to be _dead_ , does anyone remember that?) into Tony's tower because Odin All-Daddy was furious because of the shit Loki had pulled this time (and Tony shouldn't be so understanding, he really shouldn't be, but taking his memories and sending him to stumble over earth sounded like a really good revenge. Especially since Loki has been here for a while, and Tony has heard some of the things Odin did to his younger son. Especially after all the things that Loki _doesn't_ rave about (his kids, and their mothers, and the child that should be his grandchild and has yet never been born)).

  


\--♥-♥--

  


Tony ... Tony is grateful. There are only Vision and Rhodey, and sometimes Natasha stopping by, after his Big Divorce (Rhodey's words, not his, and they were said with such venom that Tony couldn't find any humor in it at all) from Steve and the rest of the gang, and it gets lonely in the mansion. Even an insufferable smug asshole like Loki is better than the silence echoing back from blank walls when he wakes up at night and there is no-one else out there, trying to drown their nightmares and memories in tea and coffee and distraction. He keeps Tony from falling back into the bottle when there is no-one to share his guilt with, in the beginning by sharing his kitchen (Loki has a weird sleep-rhythm, not exactly made better by the fact that he's used to sleeping 6 hours out of a 45-hour day and dozing a few hours more somewhere in the library on the window sill) and later by fucking him so hard into his (their) bed that Tony's too fucking exhausted to dream anything.

Tony's ... still not sure how that happened. One moment they're down in his workshop, discussing his newest project (because that's a thing they do, Tony showing off whatever he's thought of and Loki prodding and pulling at his vague ideas until they are watertight, airtight and ready to be shipped into production without Tony (or Pepper, it's mostly Pepper) having to worry about lawsuits because of foolishly overlooked mistakes) and the next moment he's bend over the table, his pants trapping his legs and two strong hands trapping his hips, and a god pounding into him as if there's no morning.

What's the strangest thing about it - nothing changes. They are still cursing each other until Vision has to look up expletives (didn't get enough of Jarvis' memory on this, and it's a bittersweet reminder that Jarvis and Vision are two different persons, as if the body Vision has isn't reminder enough) and arguing science and blowing shit up, both in the lab and in the gym.

And when Thor drags Bruce back from wherever he'd been hiding (or kidnapped, apparently) there is a short, really fucking awkward silence. But then Loki pulls his lips into one of his more obnoxious grins and says, "I always knew Thor resembles a Golden Retriever rather strongly, but I wasn't aware that he had learned _Fetch_ yet" and somehow that only makes Bruce grin, too, and say, "Well, now I know why Tony likes you so much."

  


\--♥-♥--

  


They do tea together, of all things. Bruce and Loki.

Tony walked in on them once, in the kitchen. They were arguing about whether white tea goes with strawberries or not, and there was a green tint on Bruce's cheeks and sparks flying from Loki's fingers.

He made coffee while listening to them and watching as one of the sparks hit the tea. Was watching them scramble for water and the other tea leaves to save them from the mini fire.

He's almost sure they never even noticed him being there.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


It's not perfect - it can't be, because there's no such thing as perfection in this world. And they are not perfect - too broken, too many nightmares that wake them both, too many daymares that have them clutching for hands and breathing too fast and see the horrors of the past or future and not at all what is right before their eyes. And there are arguments about who drank the last coffee or left their socks on the couch again and there is yelling and doors slamming too loud because they are both fucking divas when you get right down to it, and deep silences filled with venom and hurt and sharp memories of betrayal and icy words that make trusting someone - even someone who wears the same mark as you - so hard.

But they do. That's the one thing that Tony still has trouble wrapping his mind around, because they _do_ trust each other, do _love_ each other, and they care enough that they will not let the silence fester between them. Tony has always had problems asking for forgiveness (except from Pepper, because he tried for Pepper) but he will not let his pride tear Loki from him. And so, when he has cooled his head and given himself the time to think about it calmly, he always turns to Loki, or looks up to find Loki turning to him, and then there is that moment of awkward silence and nervous smiles. And then they apologize - because it doesn't matter what started it, _who_ started it, because they both know how to hurt with words that are filed to daggers and that have barbs that tear, and they both had to learn to never take any kick lying down, have both learned to sling any pain right back where it came from. And they try, they try to unlearn it, for each other, but it's hard and it's not happening over night, so all they can do is accept that they are not perfect, neither of them, and that the pain that cut you down was intentional, but never meant to hurt you.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


Sometimes knowing that there is someone who accepts you even with your failures is better than perfection.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


He thinks it's easier for Loki, sometimes. When he thinks about it, at least, because ... it's strange, thinking that this man who shares his mark has been kissed by a lover before. Has _loved_ before - twice at least, he knows - has kids that he only ever speaks about in the strange moments between nightmares and waking.

One was a woman of damp and heat, burning bright and hot like a volcano, her fire bringing his own about. Loki never speaks of it, but Tony can, sometimes, read it between the things he says and the silences he leaves: they were fast and hot like a forest fire, like they knew - knew somewhere deep within - that their time was limited and about to burn out.

The other was a woman of the hearth - strong and warm and steady. Like Pepper, Tony thinks, when he catches Loki watching her with that same look in his eyes that he chokes back her name (Sigyn, Thor explained, and then falls silent and never explains more, but there are shadows in his eyes, too, that make Tony think that Loki is not the only son Odin lost).

He thinks it's easier for Loki, because he has loved before, has been in a relationship before (and Tony never knew that there was such a world of difference between these two things that people use so interchangeable). Thinks that Loki must know how it is to apologize and forgive and live together.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


He also thinks that it is harder for Loki, for he can look in Tony's eyes and see the women he has loved before.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


The marks are pretty. Tony ... didn't expect them to be, actually. Not since he gave up waiting for one for himself, at least. Not since Pepper (Surely if Pepper cannot love him, than he doesn't deserve a nice mark. Not that this does make sense, because there are always two persons, and every person that can love him has to be a saint).

(He was wrong. He loves Loki, but he never fooled himself into believing that his lover could be some kind of angel. At least not one that's not fallen).

The mark is on the back of his shoulder, shaped like a star. It's ... it's hilarious, to think about. That he would get a star - a little bit bent out-of-shape, because one of the points is a bit shorter than the rest, but ... it's a star.

Apparently they place a lot of value into what the marks look like on Asgard. Or at least that's what Loki told him - that there are entire books written about what a Norn's Mark means.

He always says it like this - with the capitals. Because apparently the _N_ _orns_ \- whoever the fuck they are - stitch it into the skin of the lovers to help them learn about each other. Or something else - it's not like Tony believes in this bullshit.

Loki does.

And ... if Tony's honest, for once, then ... he likes what he made out of the shape. Likes the way he traces cool fingertips over the mark on Tony's skin, light as butterflies, as if it will vanish or break under his touch. And then he bends forwards and kisses it - this Tony feels, because Loki's tongue is dragging over it, and there is a tingle under it and a lazy warmth unfolding slowly somewhere around his guts that he knows could become more if he let it. Or if Loki pressed it, because, yeah, it's not as if he has ever said no to him ... pressing the matter.

"This is fitting, I think ... a star for my guiding light when I lose myself in memories and nightmares ... a crooked star, because neither of us is perfect but that does nothing to diminish our shine."

And Tony knows, should he turn and look over his shoulder he would see the softest, gentlest smile on Loki's face. The one that no-one else ever gets to see because he reserves it for Tony and Tony alone.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


He ... didn't _actually_ try to hide it - he's _Tony fucking Stark_ , he knows there is no way to hide a thing like _love marks_ from the vultures of the press. Not for him, at least.

Thing is, he didn't think it would be well received. He's the Times' Most Eligible Bachelor. He's Tony Stark, owner of Stark Industries. Women and men fawn over him. If he were a pop star he would be the kind teenagers fainted for.

Having a love mark - being in an official, committed relationship with someone - doesn't fit in. Even less that it's with a man (though having been seen kissing and fucking men before had never done anything to diminish his popularity, so maybe he's just being cynical) who's also an a _lien_. And the man who came in second after him in the voting this year, though there were some discussions about him being an alien and therefore "Not from Earth" and "Are we even sure that he's a man?" (He is, or, well, he's a man most of the time; Tony could tell them that Loki is entirely capable of taking a women's shape, or that the shape he takes - sometimes, reluctantly, in an offer of trust - when he turns jotun is neither and both, but he never would and he knows that this is why Loki shows them to him).

Anyway, when the news hit the masses Tony is half-panicking because, well, all of this. A part of him flicks back to when he stopped weapon development and his stocks were falling and all the world was predicting him to crash and burn out, and he just fears this time will be worse because that's how humans work. How _his life_ works. And he hears Loki calling his name and feels him cradling his face between his hands, sees the concern in his eyes but he cannot do anything, cannot stop himself from drawing in breath too fast, too hard, _too much_ and how can he suffocate on too much air?

It's only when Loki hugs him close - so close that there is only his smell in Tony's nose anymore and his shirt Tony's hands are buried in and Loki's hands at his back that cradle him so close that he imagines he can hear his rips crack and he somehow can close his eyes and feel only his lover, his other half, that he calms down.

Calms down and actually hears the news anchor talking about how the reporters have turned up, fucking uninvited, over Avengers Mansion and started taking pictures of him and Loki in the swimming pool. Pictures that have to show the matching marks on their shoulders, and it's not much of a stretch after, is it? To come up with the truth about what they mean?

  


\--♥-♥--

  


Thing is, Tony forgot that there is a big big difference in the public's eyes and mind when it comes to one-night-stands and love. And he forgot that only a week ago the same public - the same _people_ \- have seen him freaking out over Loki going down in an attack from Doom. Have seen something similar not that long ago when Tony was attacked on a fucking press conference by a fucking idiot hobby sniper and Loki not only kicked him out of the way but almost strangled the man to death before Pepper could convince him that no, Tony wouldn't want that (he really wouldn't, because the fucker wasn't worth Loki going to jail for, and superhero or not, someone would - should - charge him. That being said, a part of him that he rarely ever acknowledged was unbelievable fucking _pleased_ at Loki going full-out world shattering angry at the guy over trying to hurt him)

  


\--♥-♥--

  


When he can finally hear something over the blood rushing in his veins again, can finally fucking listen to what the news anchor says on the TV that Rhodey has helpfully turned louder it is not the smear campaign he expected. Instead it's pictures of Loki and him together - pictures of innocent outings to the next café or the park or that one time he took Loki to visit the children at the children’s home Stark Industries sponsors, the one that Tony totally doesn't have time to visit every other week (except for how he totally does anyway). No-one ever paid attention to it - not more than anyone does pay attention to two superheroes out on the street, which means that they were always beleaguered by people hunting for autographs - and now they used it to show that _yes_ , this had been going on for quite a while already.

They are ... not mean about it, or hurt that he didn't hold a press conference as soon as he had a date, which is half what Tony expected. Instead they are smiling, and understanding, and there is this warmth on the woman's face that he usually connects with stories about the English royal family (who are, for reasons that are beyond him, loved by the press). And when they show the pictures of the marks they follow it with an interpretation of the picture (because yes, Asgard isn't the only realm where they are superstitious, there are just less people here that believe in that crap) and by that time Tony is so far beyond surprise that hearing them call it a good omen, a sign for luck and shine and steadiness, doesn't do more than make him raise his eyebrows.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


He still likes Loki's interpretation more.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


It is later on that same day, with the sun setting outside and the moon hanging low and almost full above them, that he finds himself out on the balcony. It is late in the year, autumn, but still warm enough that the cool breeze feels good on his skin so he just leaves the shirt open, the scars exposed in a rare moment of feeling safe.

He doesn't hear the quiet steps of naked feet on stone (one time, when Tasha was over, they had a match about who could walk less noticeable over the ground. They were already a bit drunk then, and Tasha had laughed and agreed and won on smooth stone while Loki beat her on rustling leaves and Rhodey and Tony had looked at each other, trying to keep from their faces what they thought about knowing such super sneakers) but he feels the warmth of his lover just a second before he snakes his arms around Tony's chest.

(Loki is always warm, except when he is not and then he is blue as well and Tony would never mention his temperature).

Leaning back into the embrace that has become familiar and _home_ he feels his mood lighten, his lips twitch into an almost-smile.

"They love us together", he can't help but comment.

Loki buries his nose in his hair, his breath warm on his skin when he replies. "They would be idiots to dismiss you, the greatest mind earth has ever begotten. But even if they did, then we are still too great, too beautiful together to ever succumb to them."

"I don't think ..." Loki has to know what would happen to Tony, to Stark Industries and the Avengers, if the public decided to loathe them. He has to because he is Loki and that is the kind of thing that he knows.

He will also know what to do against it because that is Loki as well, and it is very rare that Tony feels safe and awed at the same time.

"I love you", he whispers and he knows that _Loki knows_ but hearing himself say it makes it even more real. Makes it better.

The only think more sublime is when he feels Loki cradle him closer, his hands right over his damaged heart as if he wants to keep it safe, and lower his lips so he can whisper it right back at him.

  


\--♥-♥--

  


"I love you."

  


\--♥-♥--

  


Tony only ever had one person that loved him, that _he_ loved.

Only ever one pair of matching marks.

But that is okay because Loki is all he ever wanted, and all he ever needed.

  


\--♥-♥--

\--♥-♥--

  



End file.
